Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Randomize
