He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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