woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
