Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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