They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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