Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
