She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
