I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
