I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
