My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
