He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
