so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
