what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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