she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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