well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
