They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
