Dude my mom stole all your condoms
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
