Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
