When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
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