You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
