I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
