Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
