saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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