I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
