So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
