He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
