Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
