we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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