my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
