Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
