if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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