Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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