why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
