He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
