I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
