sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
