I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Randomize
