Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
