Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think I sprained my soul last night
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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