dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
