I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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