You can't special order awesome
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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