hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
