I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
