Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
