He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
