If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
