Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
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