Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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