I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
