Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
