We're like a lot better than the average bears
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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